joelle van dyne: socks n sandals

have you ever had one of those horrid moments when you look at yourself and realize, in shock and disgust, ‘oh good lord i have turned into my parents’. well i had that today- specifically, i have turned into my dad: i am wearing SANDALS AND SOCKS.

sandals and socks is my dad’s favorite clothing combo. let me take a moment to paint the full picture for you. the socks would be white athletic socks pulled up to mid-calf height. the sandals would be brown tevas. he would be wearing shorts. actually, he would be wearing a swim suit that he uses as shorts.

he’s had this swim suit since the early 1990s- at that time, it was fluorescent pink. but after swimming in the backyard pool in that suit for the past 2 decades, it has faded to a bizarre shade of orangey puce. it’s so old that it would probably disintegrate upon contact with water and/or chlorine, so now it’s reserved for dry land. ANY AND EVERY occasion on dry land. apparently all shirts goes with these ‘shorts’- could be a navy polo, could be a plaid button-down, with or without a tie, could be a bright yellow tee.. anything goes.

i’ve tried to help my dad, truly i have. for xmas last year i gave him several pairs of new shorts as a ‘joke’. he was so excited about his gift that he came down for our formal xmas dinner wearing: new khaki shorts (from me) (it was 20 degrees outside), a long-sleeved ohio state tee (from my sis), A TIE with the tee shirt (from my mom), pulled-up athletic socks, and loafers. OMG.

my mom, who does not even care about clothes, said “no way. absolutely not. go back upstairs to change and do not come down till you’re wearing something that does not incorporate any of the items you have on right now. and i don’t mean put on your swim suit.”

free people shirt and skirt, gryphon belt, marni bag, calvin klein knee socks, prada sandals